Three laws of Mountain Biking
Sooner or later it seems all members of the mountain bike tribe inevitably come to face the Three Laws of Mountain Biking which are as follows:
- The First Law of Mountain Biking
- Accept that the act of mountain biking requires you to hand over large and unplanned sums of money to the local bike shop (LBS). This is distinct from handing over large and planned sums of money to the local bike shop which should never be admitted to in front of your spouse.
- The Second Law of Mountain Biking
- One mountain bike is never enough and a bad workman never blames his tools. Therefore, those who seek mastery of the mountain bike should reasonably be expected to own enough bikes to fit the exact needs of a limitless number of situations. You should also expect to extend this concept to a compulsive need to repeatedly change and upgrade components on the basis that if one bike is never enough, neither is it finished. This law is religiously supported by all bike manufacturers currently known and yet to be invented.
- The Third Law of Mountain Biking
- Only you (and fellow tribe members) understand the joy of mountain biking. Every other member of the human race has you sat (wearing a T-shirt with the phrase ‘rapist’ across the chest) alongside Jehovah Witnesses and puppy killers in terms of social acceptability. Understand that any discussion of what you do at the weekends will be met with blank stares or a shake of the head and wry amusement. But not comprehension or, indeed, respect.
I wonder what other immutable laws of the mountain bike universe there are?
About the author
Matt is one of the founding Molefathers of the Muddymoles, and is the designer and main administrator of the website.
Having ridden a 2007 Orange Five for many years then a 2016 YT Industries Jeffsy 29er, he now rocks a Bird Aether 9 and a Pace RC-627.
An early On-One Inbred still lurks in the back of the stable as a reminder of how things have moved on. You can even find him on road bikes - currently a 2019 Cannondale Topstone 105 SE, a much-used 2011 Specialized Secteur and very niche belt drive Trek District 1.
If you've ever wondered how we got into mountain biking and how the MuddyMoles started, well wonder no more.
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Colin says:
Oh so true.
There is also the law that sees you spending way beyond your budget on the top spec kit, using the logic that you are future-proofing the bike and those bling-bling forks will be used on your next frame.
However, by the time that next frame comes along, mainly for nostalgic reasons, you still want to keep the old bike in tact as a complete item.
And besides that, those once bling-bling forks are now passe and oh-so-yesterday-dahling so you gotta get new ones!
Fast forward about 8 months and i’ll be doing my best not to fall foul of this rule.
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Posted on March 6, 2008 at 10:55 am
Muddymoles says:
Our passion, in seven steps
If you score 7/7, chances are you’re as keen on mountain biking as we are.
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Posted on March 19, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Muddymoles says:
One casualty
After 1100 miles the drivetrain on Matt’s Orange Five cries ‘enough!’. Although to be fair, it’s been complaining for a while…
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Posted on June 3, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Muddymoles says:
Endura Humvee review
What are Endura Humvee shorts really like and what do you get for your money?
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Posted on July 25, 2008 at 3:33 pm
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